Heterosexism has created havoc in the lives of many gays and their families. In some cases it is a normal response is to discriminate against someone because of sexual orientation. It is unmistakable. The need for unity among many Black heterosexuals and Black homosexuals. One of the most painful facts is the division created by traditional Black heterosexuals. This country was built with the blood of division. The very foundation that makes this country a country is based on discrimination and prejudice. America’s history is a meltingpot of separation, denial, and racist thinking. Because of these facts, you would expect your own people to embrace you no matter what.

Heterosexism is not homophobia. Heterosexism is the belief of superiority of heterosexuals or any behavior considered heterosexual. In many ways heterosexism is similar to sexism and racism. Heterosexism describes a systematic philosophy that stereotypes, denies and discriminates against all non heterosexual forms of behavior. It is the overt exclusion of all non-heterosexual persons in policies, procedures, services, health care or events. Everyone who isn’t straight is considered a sexual minority. Transsexuals, persons born with both reproductive organs, gays, and lesbians are affected by heterosexism. Heterosexism is an extreme form of discrimination.

Heterosexism is institutional prejudice in it’s highest form. Because of societies religious, political, and cultural views, homosexuality remains invisible. It remains a taboo subject. The goal is to keep gay people invisible and silenced. However when a person or homosexual group engage in homosexual behavior, embrace homosexual issues or speak out against oppression, they become visible. Because of this visibility, homosexuals are subject to assault from society. An example of these assaults are the church turning it’s back. The Federal and State ban on same gender marriage. Other examples are in healthcare, employment, and the ban homosexuals in the military.

Heterosexism is quite different from homophobia. Homophobia is prejudice, harassment, violence and often death based on an individual’s belief or attitude. Homophobia is fear and deep seated hatred. Homophobia is a plague in Black America.

Many traditional Black heterosexuals are homophobic based on generations of beliefs. It is believed homosexuality is a white thing, a sickness that has derived from white people. It is never considered, or acknowledged that gay people are a part of every race. They are a part of every religion, and culture. Traditional Black heterosexuals believe Black gays have been tainted, brainwashed by whites and white culture. I often hear Black gays are trying to be white. It is believed by traditional Blacks that gay Blacks have abandoned Black ideals, community, family and churches. It is said we have accepted the position of white people. If you are Black you are expected to denounce anything perceived to be of white society. Black homosexuality is seen as rebellion, and sinful promiscuity. You have turned your back on your ancestors and on God. It is perceived as defying your family.

Stereotypes play a powerful role in how Blacks treat other Blacks. Stereotypes of homosexual people encourage the separation of all Black people. It is believed by many that homosexuals are mentally ill. It is also believed homosexuals are more likely to molest children. All homosexuals recruit straight people to be gay and have a wild sexual appetite. It is believed Black women who are lesbians have not been with the right man, want to be a man or can’t can not get a man. Black men who are gay have been hurt by someone , are spiritually disconnected and or they have a psychological malfunction.

Society has placed frightening assumptions into the minds of the populace. It is assumed gay people want to sleep with every heterosexual they see. Gay people are sinful and will spend eternity in a metaphysical hell. Gay people couldn’t possibly religious or spiritual . Gay bashing isn’t considered abnormal in many instances. AIDS is Gods punishment to all gay people. These occurrences perceived to be homosexual have nothing to do with homosexuals.

Black heterosexuals often feel and behave as if they are superior to black gays.

Society deems homosexuality abnormal, therefore heterosexuality must be normal. Black heterosexuals embrace this thinking. Heterosexuality is right, righteous, and Godly. Black heterosexuals strongly believe all gay people are sick and unprincipled. This concept automatically makes Black heterosexuals feel superior.

It was quite a challenge growing up Black in a family who’s beliefs did not mirror each other. My liberal grandmother taught me to reach for the stars. She prepared me for a world void of support for women’s issues. She prepared for a future without Black lesbian role models. The other relatives, close and distant embraced traditional belief’s of religion and culture. They prayed for be because of their anger and embarrassment. As a child I was not welcomed at everyone’s house. I couldn’t play with certain cousins. Our place of worship was not warm, loving or welcoming. People were always persuading me to play with baby dolls, tea sets, little vacuum cleaners and things that were pink.

Black gays are deeply wounded by the separation that is accepted and supported by our own people. Black gays are caught in the middle of a religious fueled society and unfounded hate. We suffocate from growing invisibility and isolation. In traditional Black culture religion is every important. In many cases religious faith was all Black people had to call their own. Therefore religious beliefs are based on their history, culture, and destructive Biblical interpretations. Traditional Black heterosexuals base their beliefs events that have nothing to do with us or this era. Often misinterpreted information taken from the Bible is used to ostracize gays. Sodom, the city in Palestine is commonly used to rebuke homosexuality. However according to the book of Ezekiel, the sins of Sodom were greed and idolatry. Their sins were laziness, pride and disrespecting the elderly. Homosexuality is never mentioned. Another scripture universally used is in found in Leviticus. It is the Holiness Code specifically for the priesthood. The code defines the rules and rituals priests were bound too. Traditional Blacks heterosexuals are adamant about using the code to condemn homosexuality. Why aren’t they adamant about the other rituals and rules? Shouldn’t they incorporate everything described in Leviticus? For example, eating and touching the dead flesh of pigs, rabbits and some forms of sea food. Eating specific types of meat, and being tattooed. Why aren’t any of these circumstances applied to their condemnation? Black gays suffer because our own people have found another reason to create and perpetuate division.

I realize social rearing and gender roles have a lot to do with the reaction of Black heterosexuals. Once you are born into a Black family, you are automatically placed into a box of cultural do’s and don’ts. The boundaries of Blackness are not to be crossed. Black females are reared to be subservient to Black males. We are taught to be domestic, and hold the position of caregiver to all. We are taught you must be aesthetically pleasing to get and keep a man. You are taught to occupy yourself with feminine gendered everything. Anything other than femininity is not accepted. Black males are taught at a young age, they are superior to all women. They are taught they are gifts to all women, and women must honor them. Black men are expected to remain masculine at all times. They are expected to be the absolute opposite of feminine, sensitive, fragile, weak or pretty. If we fall short of our place, we have stepped out of the box.

We have come too far as a people to let socially restricting ideals and ritualistic conjecture separate us. Black heterosexism prevents unity among us all. This division keeps Black gays exile, in fear and in the closet. There is so much double-talk from traditional Black heterosexuals about inclusiveness, community and unity. My question is, who are they addressing? Are they talking about specific Black people, or all people regardless of sexual orientation?

The hand full of our people with the courage to walk in someone else’s shoes and think different is a blessing. There are many Black heterosexuals that go against the grain of hate. I commend them. Even they place themselves in the line of homophobia fire.

The solution is to be aware of the facts about homosexuality and Black gay people. Understand who we are based on who we are instead of stereotypical theories.

I know it’s impractical to believe someone’s thinking will just magically change. However the solution is education to those willing to eliminate the sword of intolerance. Put it down. See beyond the limits of stereotypes. We can conquer homophobia among Black people. We can create a bond that prevents this emotional and sometimes physical death. Get the facts and spread the knowledge. Do not tolerate homophobic people or their comments. Don’t encourage vindictiveness based on hate. Counteract vile commentary with facts. End homophobia. End heterosexism.