Nigeria: 'My Father Won't Eat My Food'
- By News Hound
- Published 10/19/2007
- Nigeria
- Unrated
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View all articles by News HoundNigeria: 'My Father Won't Eat My Food'
By Tadaferua Ujorha
Abuja
Women living with HIV/AIDS tell moving stories, as they battle stigma and alienation. Reports Tadaferua Ujorha, who was in Nnewi
In Nnewi, as in many other parts of the country, women living with HIV/AIDS are having a rough time, much more than their positive male counterparts. But some of them have chosen to fight back and assert their humanity in remarkable ways.Slowly, these women are reclaiming their voices, long silenced by a well cultivated stigma.
One of these women is Chika Eze (not real name) who though HIV positive, found true love, and recently got married .On the day this reporter met her at the hospital, she still radiates some of the joy and colour of her recent marriage. But there is another side to her story. Her husband is positive too, and she has found it necessary to hide a few details of her status from a few family members. These days a little secrecy has become necessary ,if you are HIV positive. She could easily tell the senior sister to her husband of her status, and only a few members of her immediate family are aware of her condition. She cannot, and will not tell her biological parents, and she bluntly tells this reporter 'My father may not be happy, and he may completely stop eating food prepared by me, my father won't eat my food, so I cannot tell him.
My mother would certainly tell him one day if she knew of my status, and in the circumstances, I think it's better to keep quiet.' According to Chika, she tested positive for HIV/AIDS in the year 2000, and was falling ill quite regularly after that initial test. After a while she was linked up with the ACTION project at the Nnamdi Azikiwe Teaching Hospital, Nnewi, where she has been placed on drugs and is much stronger than previously. She met her husband for the first time some two months ago, and is grateful to the dynamic support group at the hospital which has played a noble role in creating relationships among people living with HIV/AIDS. Some of these relationships have also resulted in marriages.
Dr Donald Igboelina is the Programme Officer (Medical) for the AIDS Care and treatment project in Nigeria (ACTION), of the Institute of Human Virology, which is in partnership with the Nnamdi Azikiwe University Teaching Hospital, Nnewi, Anambra state.The project has outstations in four different locations, all within a 20 kilometre radius of Nnewi,and the style here is to spread the patients around these outstations so as to reduce the pressure on Nnewi. A typical day for him usually begins at 8.00 am, and his core duties are usually clinical. His words 'My day starts with a route walk at the heart to heart centre, where people come in for attention and for testing. A good number are working clients. Some have been tested in a private centre, and come here to double check. Some are directed by their churches.' He tells this reporter that the VCT unit in the hospital has a robust advocacy approach to the community, and stresses that they often visit the main market where 'For about one hour ,first thing in the morning a health talk is given. Patients are tested on the spot, and results are made available within thirty minutes'.
According to him before the IHVN intervention, when HIV drugs had to be paid for, the hospital was a madhouse. His words 'People in the past used to wait all night for their drugs, and often they did not get the drugs. Then later as things improved it was decided to spread the patient load as new patients came to the clinic'. Over 7,000 patients are being managed at the clinic today, with a good number from nearby areas, although some do come from as far as Lagos,Abia state and Portharcourt.Two factors can explain this particular character of the patient flow. One is the force of stigma, and this makes people to travel far to locations where they will access their drugs, and where they will not be recognised. Second is the fact that Nnewi is the only comprehensive centre being supported by IHVN in the South-east. Allied to this is the fact that the quality of service is quite commendable, and each thematic unit is fully staffed with dedicated people. So it is around this centre of quality service that quite a number of HIV positive women gather to tell their stories, as well as to receive treatment and guidance.
Mary Okoli is another woman living with HIV/AIDS in Nnewi, and her story is as exciting as that of Chika mentioned above. She is positive as well as her husband, and the account relating to her husbands status is puzzling. He has always been based in Lagos, and when he fell ill some years ago, family members thought it was a case of poison, and so he was taken to many places seeking a cure. On one occasion he was taken to a church which charged him 500,000 naira, and he had to pay. But his condition only got worse, and he started to develop boils all over his body. According to Mary Okoli, all her children are negative, but she adds that she could only confide in her eldest daughter in respect of her status. This is because a daughter can keep a secret, she surmises. Her husband has not told his relations about his status, she tells this reporter, because 'people discriminate a lot, if they know you are a carrier, you would be treated as an outcast, and would be expelled from the village meeting'. She now tells the related story of a woman who used to sell fish in a market in Nnewi.When people learnt that she is positive, they decided henceforth not to buy fish from her . Thus her business collapsed. Her words 'Stigma creates poverty, by turning the individual into an outcast. The woman was completely abandoned when the community realised that she is HIV positive'.
Another story is on the life of a woman whose husband died of HIV, leaving a number of children behind together with the wife. The children were stigmatised, and one child among them is positive, who received the greatest cynicism. There is the woman who recently found out that she is positive, but her husband is negative. The wife meanwhile is scared of confiding in the husband, because he is likely to drive her out of the family home. In the opinion of Mary Okoli, stigma affects women much more than the men, and women are easily driven out of the matrimonial home under these circumstances. Her words 'Negative women are more supportive of their HIV positive partners. Among discordant couples, negative women are more supportive. Even in death one woman was protective of the man's status from her family, who accused her of killing her husband.'
Another account this reporter came across at Nnewi is that of Annabel David (not real name), who was sent out of her house when she told her husband that she is positive. 'Whenever her husband returns to town, he sleeps in a hotel, and he is negative.' There is the story of the man who is negative, but whose wife is positive. The three children of the couple all died, and the husband proceeded to label the wife a witch. What a dreadful pass have women come to, when they are confirmed HIV positive. Related to this is the account of a woman who was once the owner of a flourishing hotel business. When her health declined, all her customers ran away. But today she is receiving treatment at the ACTION project, and is on the road to recovery. Similar stories can be found across the length and breadth of the country. Stigma itself breeds poverty.
Ngozi Jacob (not real name) died as a result of complications arising from her HIV status She left two children one of which is positive. Her husband's family then took the negative child away, but ignored the positive one, who has now been taken to the social welfare department for further management. Sadly, the mother's corpse is still in the mortuary, with no one coming forward to claim it.
One impressive story that came out of the Nnewi trip, as recounted by Dr Donald Igboelina, is that of a positive woman, whose husband is negative. The striking point about the couple's situation is the fact that the Wife repeatedly begged her husband to remarry, on account of her condition, but the husband refused to do so, and chose the noble path of standing by his wife, and this is both exemplary and rare. The husband still has unprotected sex with his wife ,and he is fully aware of her status, though. Another similar story is that of John Obi whose wife was finally diagnosed as being HIV positive, after a series of illnesses. He showed the abundance of his love for her by spending quite a lot of money on her health, and looking after her, until she actually began to improve. In his words 'My greatest happiness is that my wife is coming back to her old self, and can cook for me again. How she contacted HIV/AIDS is none of my business.'
On the matter of stigma,Dr Donald Igboelina is of the view that those living with HIV /AIDS can play a role in reducing it. His words 'Those who are positive should come out and say HIV is no big deal. The initiative should come from those who are positive, and stigma would reduce. HIV positive persons should come out of the closet. The onus is on the person living with HIV, they should come out into the open'. He also informed this reporter that most persons living with HIV/AIDS are reluctant to tell their spouses, and many are more comfortable telling their close friends, rather than their spouse. He sees this as a tragedy. At this point he drew the attention of this reporter to a story on a lady whose husband was positive while she is negative. Eventually the husband passed on, and the latter's family instantly packed all his properties, and accused the wife of killing her husband. He explained that stigma is deep seated, and even affects the patient's adherence to his drugs. His words 'Patients must meet 100 % adherence to their drugs, and they should take their drugs within two hours of the time they ought to take it'. He adds that in this context, challenges often arise from stigma, because people may want to know what the drug is for.
Dr P.U Ele is the coordinator IHVN/NAUTH ACTION Project. According to him the facility at NAUTH is one of the best of such facilities in the whole of the south-east. This is in terms of trained personnel, facilities, availability of drugs etc. His words 'most communities in the south-east are fortunate to have this facility. The facility is accessed free of charge, and there is full complement of services down to infant diagnosis'. In his opinion a pilot survey needs to be done to assess the level of stigma. But he declares 'Stigma is declining. There are staff of this institute who are living with the HIV virus, and who access their drugs here. This was not so earlier. People are now bold enough to come out. Their jobs have not been compromised. If you look at our cultural environment and attitudes to the womenfolk, one might easily say that women suffer more than the men folk'. He adds that in the past stigma was quite high and services were restricted, while laboratory services were not free.' He salutes the intervention by IHVN in the following words 'Since the advent of IHVN in these centres, we have not had a situation where theraphy had to be interrupted. Patients no longer pay for drugs, and laboratory services are free of charge. The demand for services is high, and there is continuous pressure'.
http://allafrica.com/stories/200710151179.html
Abuja
Women living with HIV/AIDS tell moving stories, as they battle stigma and alienation. Reports Tadaferua Ujorha, who was in Nnewi
In Nnewi, as in many other parts of the country, women living with HIV/AIDS are having a rough time, much more than their positive male counterparts. But some of them have chosen to fight back and assert their humanity in remarkable ways.Slowly, these women are reclaiming their voices, long silenced by a well cultivated stigma.
One of these women is Chika Eze (not real name) who though HIV positive, found true love, and recently got married .On the day this reporter met her at the hospital, she still radiates some of the joy and colour of her recent marriage. But there is another side to her story. Her husband is positive too, and she has found it necessary to hide a few details of her status from a few family members. These days a little secrecy has become necessary ,if you are HIV positive. She could easily tell the senior sister to her husband of her status, and only a few members of her immediate family are aware of her condition. She cannot, and will not tell her biological parents, and she bluntly tells this reporter 'My father may not be happy, and he may completely stop eating food prepared by me, my father won't eat my food, so I cannot tell him.
My mother would certainly tell him one day if she knew of my status, and in the circumstances, I think it's better to keep quiet.' According to Chika, she tested positive for HIV/AIDS in the year 2000, and was falling ill quite regularly after that initial test. After a while she was linked up with the ACTION project at the Nnamdi Azikiwe Teaching Hospital, Nnewi, where she has been placed on drugs and is much stronger than previously. She met her husband for the first time some two months ago, and is grateful to the dynamic support group at the hospital which has played a noble role in creating relationships among people living with HIV/AIDS. Some of these relationships have also resulted in marriages.
Dr Donald Igboelina is the Programme Officer (Medical) for the AIDS Care and treatment project in Nigeria (ACTION), of the Institute of Human Virology, which is in partnership with the Nnamdi Azikiwe University Teaching Hospital, Nnewi, Anambra state.The project has outstations in four different locations, all within a 20 kilometre radius of Nnewi,and the style here is to spread the patients around these outstations so as to reduce the pressure on Nnewi. A typical day for him usually begins at 8.00 am, and his core duties are usually clinical. His words 'My day starts with a route walk at the heart to heart centre, where people come in for attention and for testing. A good number are working clients. Some have been tested in a private centre, and come here to double check. Some are directed by their churches.' He tells this reporter that the VCT unit in the hospital has a robust advocacy approach to the community, and stresses that they often visit the main market where 'For about one hour ,first thing in the morning a health talk is given. Patients are tested on the spot, and results are made available within thirty minutes'.
According to him before the IHVN intervention, when HIV drugs had to be paid for, the hospital was a madhouse. His words 'People in the past used to wait all night for their drugs, and often they did not get the drugs. Then later as things improved it was decided to spread the patient load as new patients came to the clinic'. Over 7,000 patients are being managed at the clinic today, with a good number from nearby areas, although some do come from as far as Lagos,Abia state and Portharcourt.Two factors can explain this particular character of the patient flow. One is the force of stigma, and this makes people to travel far to locations where they will access their drugs, and where they will not be recognised. Second is the fact that Nnewi is the only comprehensive centre being supported by IHVN in the South-east. Allied to this is the fact that the quality of service is quite commendable, and each thematic unit is fully staffed with dedicated people. So it is around this centre of quality service that quite a number of HIV positive women gather to tell their stories, as well as to receive treatment and guidance.
Mary Okoli is another woman living with HIV/AIDS in Nnewi, and her story is as exciting as that of Chika mentioned above. She is positive as well as her husband, and the account relating to her husbands status is puzzling. He has always been based in Lagos, and when he fell ill some years ago, family members thought it was a case of poison, and so he was taken to many places seeking a cure. On one occasion he was taken to a church which charged him 500,000 naira, and he had to pay. But his condition only got worse, and he started to develop boils all over his body. According to Mary Okoli, all her children are negative, but she adds that she could only confide in her eldest daughter in respect of her status. This is because a daughter can keep a secret, she surmises. Her husband has not told his relations about his status, she tells this reporter, because 'people discriminate a lot, if they know you are a carrier, you would be treated as an outcast, and would be expelled from the village meeting'. She now tells the related story of a woman who used to sell fish in a market in Nnewi.When people learnt that she is positive, they decided henceforth not to buy fish from her . Thus her business collapsed. Her words 'Stigma creates poverty, by turning the individual into an outcast. The woman was completely abandoned when the community realised that she is HIV positive'.
Another story is on the life of a woman whose husband died of HIV, leaving a number of children behind together with the wife. The children were stigmatised, and one child among them is positive, who received the greatest cynicism. There is the woman who recently found out that she is positive, but her husband is negative. The wife meanwhile is scared of confiding in the husband, because he is likely to drive her out of the family home. In the opinion of Mary Okoli, stigma affects women much more than the men, and women are easily driven out of the matrimonial home under these circumstances. Her words 'Negative women are more supportive of their HIV positive partners. Among discordant couples, negative women are more supportive. Even in death one woman was protective of the man's status from her family, who accused her of killing her husband.'
Another account this reporter came across at Nnewi is that of Annabel David (not real name), who was sent out of her house when she told her husband that she is positive. 'Whenever her husband returns to town, he sleeps in a hotel, and he is negative.' There is the story of the man who is negative, but whose wife is positive. The three children of the couple all died, and the husband proceeded to label the wife a witch. What a dreadful pass have women come to, when they are confirmed HIV positive. Related to this is the account of a woman who was once the owner of a flourishing hotel business. When her health declined, all her customers ran away. But today she is receiving treatment at the ACTION project, and is on the road to recovery. Similar stories can be found across the length and breadth of the country. Stigma itself breeds poverty.
Ngozi Jacob (not real name) died as a result of complications arising from her HIV status She left two children one of which is positive. Her husband's family then took the negative child away, but ignored the positive one, who has now been taken to the social welfare department for further management. Sadly, the mother's corpse is still in the mortuary, with no one coming forward to claim it.
One impressive story that came out of the Nnewi trip, as recounted by Dr Donald Igboelina, is that of a positive woman, whose husband is negative. The striking point about the couple's situation is the fact that the Wife repeatedly begged her husband to remarry, on account of her condition, but the husband refused to do so, and chose the noble path of standing by his wife, and this is both exemplary and rare. The husband still has unprotected sex with his wife ,and he is fully aware of her status, though. Another similar story is that of John Obi whose wife was finally diagnosed as being HIV positive, after a series of illnesses. He showed the abundance of his love for her by spending quite a lot of money on her health, and looking after her, until she actually began to improve. In his words 'My greatest happiness is that my wife is coming back to her old self, and can cook for me again. How she contacted HIV/AIDS is none of my business.'
On the matter of stigma,Dr Donald Igboelina is of the view that those living with HIV /AIDS can play a role in reducing it. His words 'Those who are positive should come out and say HIV is no big deal. The initiative should come from those who are positive, and stigma would reduce. HIV positive persons should come out of the closet. The onus is on the person living with HIV, they should come out into the open'. He also informed this reporter that most persons living with HIV/AIDS are reluctant to tell their spouses, and many are more comfortable telling their close friends, rather than their spouse. He sees this as a tragedy. At this point he drew the attention of this reporter to a story on a lady whose husband was positive while she is negative. Eventually the husband passed on, and the latter's family instantly packed all his properties, and accused the wife of killing her husband. He explained that stigma is deep seated, and even affects the patient's adherence to his drugs. His words 'Patients must meet 100 % adherence to their drugs, and they should take their drugs within two hours of the time they ought to take it'. He adds that in this context, challenges often arise from stigma, because people may want to know what the drug is for.
Dr P.U Ele is the coordinator IHVN/NAUTH ACTION Project. According to him the facility at NAUTH is one of the best of such facilities in the whole of the south-east. This is in terms of trained personnel, facilities, availability of drugs etc. His words 'most communities in the south-east are fortunate to have this facility. The facility is accessed free of charge, and there is full complement of services down to infant diagnosis'. In his opinion a pilot survey needs to be done to assess the level of stigma. But he declares 'Stigma is declining. There are staff of this institute who are living with the HIV virus, and who access their drugs here. This was not so earlier. People are now bold enough to come out. Their jobs have not been compromised. If you look at our cultural environment and attitudes to the womenfolk, one might easily say that women suffer more than the men folk'. He adds that in the past stigma was quite high and services were restricted, while laboratory services were not free.' He salutes the intervention by IHVN in the following words 'Since the advent of IHVN in these centres, we have not had a situation where theraphy had to be interrupted. Patients no longer pay for drugs, and laboratory services are free of charge. The demand for services is high, and there is continuous pressure'.
http://allafrica.com/stories/200710151179.html
