As most of you know, I’m doing this writing and book publishing thing; and I’m having a little fun, learning along the way, and realizing a lot of things that I didn’t know.

I recently had an opportunity to go back home to Nashville, for Nashville’s Black Gay Pride.  It was an interesting time!  I was born there, grew up and came out there, and my family all still live there with the exception of a couple of career moves by some of my siblings and their wives.  But Nashville folk always return to Nashville.  And hell, it’s true; many of them never leave.  And that’s interesting too, because this particular time was different.  I mean, I go home to visit the family at all the appropriate and respective holidays.  I’ve even been known to make a special occasion for one of my nieces and nephews, to their surprise.  But this time, I was going back especially and particularly on my on terms (and yeah, my own dollar – this time, lol – oh yeah, I occasionally get a little help to make sure they see me regularly or that I won’t find a way to slip out of a list of “the too many frequent visits list.”)  But this time was all about meeting new peeps, new experiences, and making some new acquaintances – all of the Nashville that I knew in the family seemed to be living other places, or weren’t around for pride at all.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that Pride is usually on the same weekend as TSU’s homecoming, and well, all of Nashville comes home for the games; but this year it was a week earlier.

So, I got in Thursday night, grabbed a rental car; I wanted to try fully experience Pride this time, so I wasn’t going to do the “my brother the chauffer” thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I love how my brothers look out, take care and spoil me.  But I didn’t want anyone who didn’t want to be exposed to Gay Black Pride to have to associate, assimilate, or even be uncomfortable.  Hell, I even tried to get a hotel room at Hotel Preston, this upscale little jewel off of Briley Parkway, but they were booked up, for at least part of the weekend.  I remember thinking and even asking Dwayne (the CEO of Brothers United and Nashville Black Pride, and welcome committee, conference coordinator, emcee, and general den mother/dad to all the activities), if they were expecting that kind of crowd.  He assured me that there was another group, or a couple of them, having other festivities that weekend.  So, it was baby brother’s house where I was laying my head that weekend.

I darted through the streets that I used to drive on a daily from the age of 14 (no, it wasn’t legal, but it was Tennessee) until I went off to college for a year at MTSU, returned for a year at TSU, and then went and joined the Navy.  I was making my way up to see Tim’m West do a reading and book singing on Vanderbilt’s campus.  Yeah, I had to represent!  Anyone who knows me, knows that I love me some Tim’m!  No, really!!!  He’s the kind of brother that makes you uncomfortable and comfortable all in the same breath.  Can say something unscripted, that flows like it was a well rehearsed speech; can own a room as if he had personally invited each person there, and then sing you a song or rip some hip hop flow, or code the exact feelings that you have felt, in the exact moment, about the same quest, not even know you, and send you away from the situation with no realizable results of what should or could have been differently, or even some bullshit about whose fault it was, but make you think and relive the moment and go ‘hmmmmm, that’s some life shit, and I got through, and shit is good.

Did I say I love me some Tim’m?!!  He’s the kinda brutha that I’m sometimes more star-struck around than people like Rodney Chester, “Alex”, Noah’s Ark fame, who made it to pride in Nashville, that I carried on with like we were old running buddies or fuck buddies, or worse.  But that’s Tim’m….love him, respect him, in awe of his body of work and breadth of spirit, and his ability to be painfully honest, true to self, and even proclaim his imperfections, thirst for life, challenges and joys, and even his awe of the sometimes addictive and necessary connection of love.  So ya’ll know I had to go represent….after all, he was in my hometown!  (And I have to remind myself to cuss out some folks that I personally called and emailed to show up and represent too, but didn’t make it out, lol)  But I digress….

Tim’m was Tim’m…never in character, always living through truth, and humble and appreciative of support.  And he looked good, ya’ll!

So, the vendor booth space was open Friday night after the reception, and all day during the day on Saturday.  Met some good peeps, networked, exchanged some business cards, did a little of flirting (yeah, you know me), and even sold some books and merchandising.  But the biggest thing I learned is that you can go home, with pride, even to a home that wasn’t as welcoming as those in my own house; to a home that never really embraced you or understood you, or thought you had much to say, least known the skills and passion to put it down on paper, and publish books, to a home where the community never offered much or gave much when you were a part of it, and a home that has always been about returning just to see, or only to see - family; a home that always seemed to have a couple of missing bricks for this native son, but has seemed to build itself up; not just in the constant and incredible amount of construction, but in the gay community, a community of talented and independent artists, like Tim Dillinger, and community activists like Dwayne Jenkins and Nubian, or impressive business people and just generally good people from places called Studville, or Rollins (thanks Ricc for all the great advice!) or even talented voices and spirits like Melissa Gordon, Skyy and Dwayne Carter.  Whether it is in celebration, community activism, or the arts or arts of business…Nashville does have a lot to offer; a lot more than it seemed to when I was there and growing up; from local natives and those who come to share in its pride.  Evolution becomes “Revolution” – the theme of pride this year – just the way it should be.  I’m glad I went home; glad my home has kept growing – with pride!

But it wasn’t about the new book, as much it was about part of the journey; part of my evolution and revolution, and yeah, in part about my pride.

Check out some of the pics from Nashville Black Pride at www.leoshelton.com.