Recently, we lost a great friend and a strong advocate for gay rights and a great family man. R. Vinnie (not his real name) was a feature writer for us (GBMNEWS : Comfortable & Closeted / DL for over 30 years) . He was also a great advocate for dl brothers, although he wrote only 3 articles, they sparked much debate. He and I would have our disagreements, but we remain friends till the end.

Allow me to briefly tell you all how we met. We met in a chat room that was popular at the time and one day I was hit up by him and it went from there. Eventually, we exchange numbers and eventually met. At the time he was recently divorce with 2 young sons and a very young daughter, I think 3 at the time. And I had just moved back to AL from NY, which is where he was originally from. As our friendship grew we would talk more about things concerning politics to homosexuality to the church. And what it was like being a divorcee and down low with children and I of course would talk about what it was like being an out black gay man and how the two would often conflict.

Now to bring you up to date, Vinnie recently found out that he would need dialysis, the plate’s kind, which is where they would give you treatments through your stomach. I being the person that I am I always try to be supportive of my friends; whatever they are going through weather is Kidney disease or HIV. I’m here for them. As time went on he got weaker and weaker to the point he didn’t want to talk too much on the phone. The week before finals, I thought to myself, “I haven’t talk to Vinnie, let me give him a call.” I called the cell a few times and his son would pick up. I said, “hmmp, maybe he’s letting his son use the phone now?” So, I politely excuse myself and told him I had the wrong number. But I had Vinnie house number, so I called it.

His younger son answered and I told him who I was. Then the son replied, “He past in Sept.” I screamed!! “WHAT!!!” Immediately broke down into tears and wept. Here it is December and I just found out about it. The editor (GBMNEWS) and I wondered what happened. Since, I had the contact and made the call and got the news. I was distraught. I was weeping so much that I was weeping outside the computer lab and loud too. I just couldn’t believe it! My buddy, my homie was gone! His ex-wife took over the phone and told me what happen and they tried to find all of his friends, but he was so private and they were only able to reach a few. By Vinnie being on the low, he kept everything on locked. She was glad I called and took my information and sent me an obituary. All I can say is he was a good friend and a confidant. He was a family who loved his boys and daughter and would do anything for them. He was proud of his children. One thing that this lifestyle couldn’t give him was the love that he was looking for. He will be missed.

REST N PEACE ~