How do you say its over when you've been with someone for over ten, twenty years? This person knows you better than your own blood family. You know each other's innermost secrets. How do you find the words to say that "you are not the same person that I fell in love with? And I've changed too."

When you've said goodbye, how do you become comfortable in your new life, alone? The rules have changed. You are not the spring chicken of yesterday. You've gone bald and have decided to shave all of your hair off. You've got that mid-section that wont disappear no matter how hard you work out at the gym. You lose the pounds, you gain the weight and still that stomach waves at you when you pass the mirror. Hopefully you are wiser but that's not the first thing that your same sex counterpoints notice. You are a much better sexual lover now, even tho, "junior" may need a little assistance from that miracle little "blue" pill.

And the friends, who gets the friends? What was ours becomes yours and mine. "That's my shirt, here's your pants, my mother brought that, your father brought this!" He only comes home when you are not there and you leave when you know that he will soon arrive. Someone moves out, someone moves on.

It's almost like learning to walk again. The world around you is foreign. You are too old for the kid dance clubs, you are not into the music of the day and the feeling of appearing like someone's dad reminds you of when you were the youngest one in the room.

Life has four seasons. Not based on the calendar year, but based on your personal seasons. The "Spring" of your life is when everything is new. The clubs, the boys, the freedom is exciting. You move into the "Summer" of your life without realizing it. The temperature is hot! Moving out of your parent's house into your own is exciting. Falling in love is exciting. You are allowed to make adult choices. You are allowed to apply self worth in making new friends, job choices, and change destinations, whenever you choose. You believe in forever, you fall in love, believing . You imagine growing old, gray and fat together. You have found your soul mate.

But try as we might, the future for the most part doesn't turn out the way we always planned and sometimes in the "Autumn", the loving just stops, for its had its time. The "Winter" is the heartache, you discover that the colors in your life are different. The world can sometimes be cold and bitter and you're full of regret and despair, you mourn what use to be.

But time is a healer and before you know it, the season is about to change. It feels different than that of your youth. You have come out on the other side and you are stronger than ever. It's a chance to breath again. It's a chance in jump back into life's warm water and swim. It's a new day. It's "Spring", again.