By Rebecca Keister

Attlboro - It wasn't her decision, but it all worked out in the end.

When Samantha Jacobson, then barely a teenager, came out to her parents, it wasn't by choice.

"My aunt had overheard some of my friends talking, and she told my parents," the 17-year-old Jacobson said. "I didn't tell them."

But when they found out, Jacbosen's said, her parents sat her down and told her they love her, no matter what.

"It was kind of weird and awkward at first, but eventually it was fine," she said. "It made a lot of things easier."

So it makes sense that Jacobson is lauding Gov. Deval Patrick's very public support of his daughter, Katherine Patrick, 18, who went public about being a lesbian in an interview her father arranged with Bay Windows, a gay advocacy paper. Katherine Patrick said in the interview published Thursday that she told her parents she was gay in July 2007, about three weeks after the Legislature rejected an anti-gay marriage amendment to the state constitution.

She said her father responded to her by giving her a bear hug and saying: "Well, we love you, no matter what."

The governor said that his family agreed to the interview to make the news public on their own terms.

Jacobson said Patrick's actions, including plans to march with his daughter in today's Boston gay pride parade, are exactly what teens need when they come out to their families.

Several other members of Attleboro High School's Gay-Straight Alliance, a student group for support, education and advocacy in dealing with issues of sexual orientation, agreed.

Jacobson's younger sister, Kathy, 15, who is straight, is an active member of the group.

"My best friend is gay, and my sister is a lesbian," Kathy Jacobson said. "A couple more people in my family are, too. And I want to support them."

Kathy Jacobson said she remembers when her older sister came out to the family, and said she's grateful for how supportive the entire family has been.

"She talked about, and I still love her. I support her all the way," she said. "My whole family is very supportive."

Not every teen enjoys that experience.

Many gay and lesbian teens struggle for years with telling their parents and other family members about their sexual orientation, only to be met with more fear than support.

Leah, a 17-year-old club member who didn't want to use her last name in this report, joined the club to learn how to support some of her closeted homosexual friends who aren't ready to publicly seek support themselves.

She said her best friend, a lesbian, started coming out to family members one-by-one.

"But her father reacted very badly," she said. "So she stopped telling them. She's been sneaking behind their backs for three years now. She has come to the conclusion that her father is never going to accept it.

"What you need most during that time is your parent's support," Leah said. "If they don't support you, it's hard to support yourself."

Jill Robillard, 15, recalled her brother's coming out three years ago. At first, he tried to ease the family into the news, telling them he was bisexual.

"He knew he'd have to come out eventually," Robillard said. "It was really hard for my family at first, because we had to get used to the idea. But we are totally supportive of him. That's never been a problem."

But she knows plenty of gay and lesbian teens who have had a lot of problems with their families, and that's why she thinks Patrick is doing the best thing possible for his daughter.

"I think it's really great what he's doing," she said. "If he supports her, a lot of other people will support her, too. To pretend you're something you're not is too hard. It shouldn't be done.

"That's the great thing about coming out. You get to be who you really are."

Material from the Associated Press was used in this story.

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