By Jerome Whitehead
Before I begin writing this particular piece, I want to apologize to any reader who may be offended by the subject content. I realize that when you write opinionated pieces, the views that are expressed are your own; but with freedom of expression comes a backlash where some folks whose viewpoints that may not necessarily concur with your own may take what you've written as an attack on the theirs. So I apologize in advance if after you read this, you come away with that very feeling. My intent is never to offend, only to enlighten, possibly providing another perspective that may never have come to light. To the reader that may be offended by my words, I apologize for how you feel, but not for how I feel. Nor will I apologize for what moves me to write what I write whenever I write it.
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The Church Sanctuary by Poncho Brown |
| For the last few months, I've been struggling with the idea of going back to church. There's a church literally a stones throw away from where I live. I've been there twice, maybe three times in my lifetime. I felt comfortable there, talked with the pastor at length and found that she is surprisingly warm, receptive and inclusive. I say inclusive because even though I didn't divulge my gay identity, we did talk about her congregation and exactly who and what makes up that congregation. I left feeling like if there was a church that I would consider joining, it would probably be that one. The few times that I've listened to her preach, I was always struck with the core honesty that she delivered her sermons. They were un-scripted at best; heartfelt and full of compassion at most. As I sat in the rear of the church, I thought to myself, "Could I join and commit to this church the same way I did the last church that I belonged to some five + years ago"? The answer of course was I really didn't know. You see, I've been gun shy of organized religion ever since I left what had been my church home for over a decade of my life. I won't name the church because it is irrelevant. Nor will I go into the reasons why I left because it would be too time consuming. I may save that for another article. What I will say about my departure is that it had absolutely nothing to do with sexuality - mines or anyone elses. |
Please continue to Full Story
Before I begin writing this particular piece, I want to apologize to any reader who may be offended by the subject content. I realize that when you write opinionated pieces, the views that are expressed are your own; but with freedom of expression comes a backlash where some folks whose viewpoints that may not necessarily concur with your own may take what you've written as an attack on the theirs. So I apologize in advance if after you read this, you come away with that very feeling. My intent is never to offend, only to enlighten, possibly providing another perspective that may never have come to light. To the reader that may be offended by my words, I apologize for how you feel, but not for how I feel. Nor will I apologize for what moves me to write what I write whenever I write it.
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|
The Church Sanctuary by Poncho Brown |
| For the last few months, I've been struggling with the idea of going back to church. There's a church literally a stones throw away from where I live. I've been there twice, maybe three times in my lifetime. I felt comfortable there, talked with the pastor at length and found that she is surprisingly warm, receptive and inclusive. I say inclusive because even though I didn't divulge my gay identity, we did talk about her congregation and exactly who and what makes up that congregation. I left feeling like if there was a church that I would consider joining, it would probably be that one. The few times that I've listened to her preach, I was always struck with the core honesty that she delivered her sermons. They were un-scripted at best; heartfelt and full of compassion at most. As I sat in the rear of the church, I thought to myself, "Could I join and commit to this church the same way I did the last church that I belonged to some five + years ago"? The answer of course was I really didn't know. You see, I've been gun shy of organized religion ever since I left what had been my church home for over a decade of my life. I won't name the church because it is irrelevant. Nor will I go into the reasons why I left because it would be too time consuming. I may save that for another article. What I will say about my departure is that it had absolutely nothing to do with sexuality - mines or anyone elses. After I left, I thought it would be easy to find another church home. It wasn't. I bounced from church to church looking for what I had in my former church, and to my dismay, I couldn't find it. I was looking for love and unconditional acceptance. I was also looking for other things at that particular juncture in my life, and it all seemed to evade me. |
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EbBody Say Amen by Annie Lee |
| I had to find my way, and I'm still finding my way. Sometimes it's like groping around in a dark room until you find the light switch, and when you flip it, the light chases the darkness and all the fears that come with it away. Other times, I can't find that switch to save my life, and in instances like that, I call out to Him and pray that He answers me. One morning on my way to work, I received a call from my younger brother and we got started on the subject of God and religion. He said to me that it couldn't be easy to be gay and be in church sometimes. He said that if someone gay loves another, then isn't that true love? And if it's true love, isn't love really God in it's purest form? I had to think about that, and he was right. God is love in its purest form. And if you love someone and you are fortunate enough to have that love returned, aren't you mirroring God? Is that what it means when you read in the Bible that God made man in his own image? If love dwells in you, then doesn't it have the capacity to grow as long as it is nurtured, much like a parent and child? And isn't God the ultimate parent? With all of that said, it put a different spin on how I view myself and my relationship with God. All of the sudden, my life wasn't condensed to a few passages about Sodom and Gomorrah or Leviticus, Chapter 20, verse 13. I realized that there is a lot of love in me, and that for however long I have it, I am blessed enough to have it returned. Now I understand that who I love isn't the sin. The sin is in not loving at all. I'm finding that gay, straight, lesbian, transgender - all of it doesn't matter. What's important is that you have love in you. Even if you're single…especially if you're single, as long as love reside in you, then so does God. Love doesn't begin or end with your partner. It starts with loving yourself, loving those that love you, and loving those that don't. Because when love resides in you, and you can reach out to someone who has less than you, whether you know them or not; you are not only exhibiting God's love, you are mirroring Him. And that's one of the major things that we're supposed to do. Love thy neighbor as thyself.
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