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The Man Who
Pegged Amaechi and Hardaway as Gay Speaks Out
By Jalen
Finney
Outsports.com
columnist
Randy Boyd's
"list
of gay ballers in the NBA" generated quite a stir when
the column first appeared in 2001. It got attention again
this past February when John Amaechi, one of the players on
that list,
went public about his homosexual orientation. Also on
the list was Tim Hardaway, the former player who caused a
stir of his own by saying
"I hate gays." What does Boyd, author of the epic sports
novel
Walt Loves the Bearcat, know about gays in sports
that the rest of us don't? The five-time Lambda Literary
Award nominee opened up about basketball, his writings, and
his famous list.
Q:
You wrote
two
columns listing 20 NBA players as "most likely to be
gay." Why?
Boyd: Right off the bat, huh?
Ballin' With Randy Boyd was the column. It was a mix of
sports, humor, babe watching--typical guy stuff--from my
point of view. Pure entertainment. I was young--younger--and
trying to be provocative. Guess I got my wish, huh?
Q:
Have you met John Amaechi? Did you know he was gay when you
wrote those columns?
Boyd: John Amaechi and I have
never met, though I'd like to shake his hand, congratulate
him on his honesty and wish him well with the book and his
life. I didn't know he was gay until he told the world in
'07.
Q:
How did you choose the players on the list, in particular,
Amaechi and Hardaway.
Boyd: Somebody had to be on it.
Think of a comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live
or MADtv. Where would those shows be without joking
about people's quirkiness, especially people in the public
eye. It's about entertainment, not news and information.
Q:
Do you personally know of any professional gay athletes?
BOYD: When I was a kid, my mother
used to say: "Unless you see it with your own two eyes, you
don't know what's true." Words that have stayed with me.
Point being: I have no knowledge of who is or who isn't
homo, hetero, bi, tri, or asexual in pro sports, so please,
no more emails asking to me speculate!
Q:
Would you tell us if you did know of any professional
gay athletes?
BOYD: Absolutely … not! I'm on
this planet to tell my tale, not other people's. That's
their decision, their movie, their life, their private
life. I don't intend on being the boogeyman in somebody
else's movie in this lifetime.
Q:
What does your tale, your experience, tell you about the
issue of gays in sports?
BOYD: Gays in sports is not an
"issue." It's a fact. It's a fact that men who have sex with
other men have played sports on all levels throughout
history. Every single sporting event that has ever taken
place has included participants and spectators who
have had sex with persons of the same gender. What is an
"issue" is the fact that our society is in collective denial
about the following reality: the world is full of athletes,
soldiers, presidents, trash collectors, preachers,
politicians, coaches, umpires, husbands, soccer dads,
bachelors, homosexual men, heterosexual men, bisexual men …
men … who have, in their lives, in their journey, had
sexual relations with another … man. At some point. In some
space and time. Be it at a drunken frat party or adult
bookstore or upscale hotel or downstairs basement or … any
and every place imaginable. To paraphrase: let he who has
not had sexual relations with another man at some point and
time in his life cast the first stone.
Q:
You said something similar in February on Fox Sports Radio,
which prompts me to paraphrase what Fox announcer Chris
Myers asked: Even if that's true, what does that have to do
with the "idea" of gays in sports?
BOYD: The "idea" of gays in sports
is not so much about gay rights, or even morality. It's
about acknowledging existing and legal behavior that ain't
going away, and dealing with that existing behavior. It's
about collectively coming up with ways to acknowledge and
integrate that existing behavior into the sports world in
ways that are healthy and balanced for all.
Q:
Pardon me for asking, but doesn't professional sports
already do "sensitivity training?"
BOYD: If they do, they're to be
commended for their efforts. I'm a strong believer in
dialogue, but it's important not to simply suppress jocks
who say things like "I hate gays." Dialogue goes both ways.
Constructive dialogue goes a long way toward getting
to truths and a common understanding, which can lead to
everybody winning. But it takes both sides—rather, all
sides. It also helps to focus on appreciating our
differences instead of focusing on the fear or the unknown.
Q:
What kind of athlete should be the first to come out while
still active? A superstar? An old vet on his way out? Will
he have to be John Wayne-macho with some real thick skin?
What kind of man will it take?
BOYD: It will take a true hero who
decides to share his soul with his world. A man who believes
his word is worth more than the words of others. A man who
understands he is a special creation and a great dreamer. A
man determined to maximize his God-given potential in this
God-given lifetime. A man who chooses to know the truest
form of love for himself, and by extension, the world around
him. A man who believes in his deepest dreams. Incidentally,
that's pretty much my personal definition of a real man, as
well as the kind of man I strive to be.
Q:
In other words, you're saying, to be a real man, a man's got
to face some treacherous challenges on the scale of Jackie
Robinson? Or worse.
BOYD: Why dream the nightmare? Why
dwell on the world's worst fears? Why assume the worst in
people, in athletes, in locker room scenarios? We're all
better off when we focus on the positive and wonderful
results that might come from athletes being honest about
their sexual orientation.
Q:
Okay. Name one positive and wonderful result, if you can.
BOYD: I can do better than that. I
can name several.
Imagine
your downtrodden team that hasn't won in decades finally
claiming ultimate glory when John Doe makes that spectacular
catch, throw, pitch, tackle, walk-off homer, punt return for
a touchdown, last second, all-net buzzer beater, wobbly
field goal that goes down in history and brings all kinds of
joy to your city and your heart. All because John Doe
pursued sports as a kid instead of quitting out of fear of
being shunned because he's gay.
Imagine the
players in pro sports who are not performing to the best of
their abilities because they're too stressed from fear of
being labeled a fag all lightening up, becoming less
volatile, concentrating on their game more, becoming the
great franchise player slash utility man slash
go-to guy slash goalie slash defensive
specialist they're supposed to be. Imagine the lack of
stress leading to better performances, which leads to more
John Does creating more magical sports moments that bring
all kinds of joy to your city and your heart.
Imagine
more humans the world over understanding that sexual
orientation does not cause chaos and disorder, that chaos
and disorder come in all shapes and sizes, hetero to homo,
trash collectors to astronauts, because chaos and disorder
are caused by persons, regardless of sexual orientation,
whose lives are out of balance and who are missing a healthy
dose of self-worth.
Imagine
more openly gay athletes resulting in more kids having
positive role models and less kids trying to commit suicide
out of fear they might be a fag. Or gay. Or queer. Or
whatever people call the people who can't be honest about
their private lives in sports.
Imagine
more kids learning valuable life lessons through playing
sports, lessons like the value of a good work ethic, the
importance of sportsmanship and teamwork, all because
"anybody can play sports nowadays, gays included."
Imagine our
generation not being the generation that future generations
look back on and say: Can you believe a man couldn't be
openly gay in sports back then? How primitive is that?
Before that, they didn't let blacks in. And they called
themselves evolved?
-Imagine
professional adult athletes growing up in the locker room
and learning to treat one another as adults, not
adolescents. Bigger dream: the grown-up behavior in the
locker room encourages more grown-up behavior off the field,
which leads to less sports page headlines dealing with
spousal abuse, rape, parties gone wild and the various ugly
entanglements that bring very little joy to any city or
anyone's heart.
Q:
Sounds like the dreams of the quarterback and cheerleader in
Walt Loves the Bearcat, your very long sports novel
about the first superstar athlete to come out.
BOYD: Hey, if Harry Potter can
have several thousand pages to tell his tale, why can't a
black boy write a little ditty about his version of the
ultimate buddy duo? But seriously, new millennium, new
dreams. I challenge everyone who reads this to dream of at
least one positive outcome that might result from college
and pro athletes being open and honest about their sexual
orientation. And when you dream that dream, get in touch
with how that dream makes you feel. If the dream makes you
feel good, keep dreaming. If the dream makes you feel bad,
send that dream back to the bench and come up with another
one, a better dream, one that brings all kinds of joy to
your city and your heart.
Q:
Talk about tough assignments. Any last thoughts?
BOYD: Think of a newborn baby boy.
Ultimately, you can't control his dreams, his choices, his
beliefs. You can't control the sum total of his life
experiences, nor can you control his sexual orientation or
sexual experimentation. In short, you can't live his life.
What you can do is your part to create a world in
which any newborn baby boy can dream of being a great
athlete and grow up pursuing that dream, believing in
himself and his ability to reach his potential as an athlete
and a human being, knowing he has a fair shot at all life
has to offer, just like any other man.
Also on
Outsports.com:
Randy Boyd on the broken taboos
in Walt Loves the Bearcat
Randy Boyd on homophobia in the
NBA
Randy Boyd on Sheryl Swoopes'
coming out
Randy Boyd on John Smoltz's
anti-gay comments
Outsports.com's exclusive excerpt from Walt
Loves the Bearcat
March 20,
2007 |