“Closeted people have issues”, “You need to come out of the closet”, “I don’t have time for a brother who is closeted or so-called DL”, “Why do you care whether or not people know that you are Gay or Bi”, “If you are closeted or DL hit the X”.  The list goes on and on.  Those lines are but a minute few uttered by many openly gay men who don’t show concern for those who identify with being closeted or DL.  The comments are often spoken as if those who are now open or ’OUT’ have gotten to that point without going through a process.  They are mentally or emotionally where they are because of choice.  They went through a process to get where they are.  For some people it was more of a struggle than for others. 

The decision to open the door and come out is a personal decision (and yes that is my opinion to which I am entitled).  The cost for emerging through the door or even opening it is greater for some than it is for others.  For some the decision could cost a family their only means of financial support.  Not everyone has the finances, or other means to pursue a court case following the loss of employment due to openly embracing a sexual orientation which involves same gender-loving experiences.  For others the decision could cause emotional turmoil for family members and even interfere with their employment.

If I am expected to accept a brother when he chooses to openly share his sexual orientation why shouldn’t the same brother be expected to accept my decision to stay in my closet where I am comfortable.  I ain’t coming out…..until I get good and ready!  Now let me see how I will be better to do things someone else thinks is right.

  

Come out	Stay in
Tell on my job Be talked about Risk being targeted for termination through scrutiny of my work	Keep private Maintain job No Inner turmoil
Tell my family Have my children teased Force me to discuss certain things with my children Possible ostracism by close relatives	Not tell family Have relationships remain intact No inner turmoil
Tell friends Lose friendships	Not tell friends Maintain friendships at current level No inner turmoil

 

I think I get it… my coming out will make some openly gay person feel better about who they are and the decisions they have made. All I can say is “You do You!”

Keep a knockin’ but you can’t come in !!