The DL. No subject has occasioned more curiosity, rancor and heated debate in both the straight and gay African-American communities. At one point, there were so many books on the subject that my local Barnes and Noble devoted a mini section, a section ladies and gentlemen, to the subject. After reading books and articles on the subject, I feel compelled to have my say.

I think that as black same gender loving men, we need to realize that whatever label we feel comfortable, or not comfortable as the case may be, with wearing, we are all in the same boat, and it does us no good to criticize and beat one another down. Personally, I cannot see myself dating a DL man. In my experience, let me emphasize, my experience, they come with a lot of emotional and sexual baggage that I neither have the time or patience to deal with. I do however, think that the larger SGL community must realize that these are our brothers.

Coming out is a difficult, often painful process and requires great courage and strength and it is also a personal process. Every man must choose for himself, first and foremost whether to come out at all, secondly, how to initiate and work through that process. In this day and age, being black and gay is a fight and some of us simply are not ready for war. That doesn't mean you're not in the army.

That doesn't mean you're not on our side. But being out isn't for the unprepared, unsure or faint of heart. What DL brothers must realize is that they must confront their issues with their sexuality and masculinity in an effective and meaningful way or in the course of time, these issues will rise up to confront THEM in a way that they are unprepared for and uncomfortable with.

I love and respect all DL brothers----y'all are in the Reserves. When you're ready to receive your marching orders, let us know.