By Josh Kron
Kigali

A phenomenon in Africa that gets very little press attention just got a little more when former Archbishop of Cape Town Desmond Tutu Archbishop spoke out against church leaders' and I quote "extraordinary obsession" with sexuality.

The Anglican Church, he said, was not paying enough attention to problems in Zimbabwe, HIV/Aids because they were too focused and worried about gay priests and same-sex marriage.

Without trying to sound melodramatic, let this be known: At one juncture or another in the existence of man, sexual orientation will be a significant, but no longer defining feature of who we are. As history moves, it seems to be that things generally drift in a certain direction.

Let it be known: You are fighting against a growing wave. Surrender the battle.

Post-Genocide Rwanda is religious but intolerant of intolerance. It is African in the soul but universal in the mind. Here there is no Hutu, Tutsi or Twa, only Rwandan.

This should surely extend to a small and clandestine gay community.

Community may even be the wrong word to use.

The subject is so taboo in these parts of Africa that many grown men and women, life-long homosexuals, have never told anyone. They move singularly, to and from rendezvous, alone and in the dark. They are married, have families, yet deceive both them and themselves.

They live like this because they have to. In a place like Africa, who would want to be gay? The secrecy and self-contempt for that secrecy must be an incredible burden.

Local culture should be preserved. Traditional values in Rwanda and across Africa must not be discarded carelessly. But the culture of tolerance must also be provided for. No, the legal necessity of tolerance must be provided for.

There can be a difference between culture and law; there must be a division between culture and law, so that just because society does not accept something doesn't mean the government will punish people for it.

Man has created laws to break its own back. In America people know that sometimes they cannot help personal prejudices, so affirmative action has been made law so that minorities do not fall victim to personal morals.

Homosexuality is not something you must embrace, just something you do not think about when you do not have to. You can hate it, but know that in this country, on this soil, people should be protected.

What goes on in one person's home should not be the concern of others. What you eat does not make me bad.

But the problem isn't just about homosexuality.

There is something disgusting and claustrophobic in Kigali. People here must stop caring so much about what goes on in other people's lives. It's like living in one big elementary school playground, where everyone whispers about each other and rumours spread slick like oil spilling into arctic oceans.

Light a match, drops it down, and flames spew.

This is the Rwanda I know, the one we've all known.

The Rwanda where I walk down the street and people stare; where when you stop for but a moment in the car and there are people simply looking.

You must always be cautious of what you do because surely, in this mass social sponge, everything comes to light.

I do imagine this is how gay people in central Africa view their world, and that's unfair.

Personally, as I write this I feel as though I am haemorrhaging some invisible cocoon of ideology.

Will I get quick stares in the street? Will people call me faggot just because I support their personal safety?

Tutu is right; get over it. If you don't like gay marriage, don't get one.

New Times (Kigali)
http://allafrica.com/stories/200706050662.html