A friend of mine, we’ll call him John, is love with a minister. The minister is also in love with John. The irony of this little mix is that the minister is comfortable being in love with John, but it’s John who’s having trouble with the relationship.

"Restoration" by Edwin Lester

The trouble John’s having with this on- - off- - on again love affair is not so much about him being in love with a minister, but the fact that a minister would be in love with him, that a minister would be gay.

John says he’s traditional and he can’t come to terms with the idea of a minister who’s gay, so he’s finding it hard to respect the minister.

Now of course John has all the right in the world to his view of what a minister should be, but he says he’s sick over the relationship. And it’s true, because John has a heart condition and suffers from high blood pressure. He’s been in and out of the hospital since embarking on this affair. He is, in fact, literally making himself sick over all this.

A few weeks ago, he and I talked about the relationship and it left me wondering, is it the minister he disrespects most, or is it himself? What person would deny love, especially to the point of causing physical illness, in order to hold onto tradition, especially a tradition that denies him the right to live a full life? One that demands his service but tells him he shouldn’t exist? Is such a tradition that important?

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 "Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix."

 

That statement was part of the decision handed down by the Virginia State Supreme Court in 1958 regarding interracial marriage and miscegenation.  In the name of God and the courts, it was the ruling that sentenced Mildred Jeter Loving, a black woman, and her husband, Richard Loving, a white man to one year in jail for a marriage that was not only illegal but immoral as well.  So declared, the opinion was not just that of the court, but it was viewed as God’s edict as well.

 

It’s amazing the court’s opinion in 1958 had such a parochial, self-serving world view. But what’s even more amazing is that the court attributed its decision to the wishes of God.  Unfortunately, that was how the world was in 1958.  Thank God that was in the past.  Or was it?

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